Second Guessed

 

I second guessed myself again

Was it the luminous cloud?

Or the darkened smoke?

 

I doubted myself again

Was it salvation I preach?

Or gnosis I teach?

 

I spat in my eye again

Vision beclouded

Once more enshrouded

 

Whose feet tripped me again?

As I walked the hall to class…

Set forth on a chosen course,

Only to fall on my arse.

 

A candle alit in the dark

Who blew it out?

A stranger who shares my breath?

 

One who’s gaping hole was tragic and torn;

Tattered and worn,

Freely giving out scorn.

 

Should or shouldn’t I?

Why should I die?

Who now holds knife’s blade, dressed all in shade?

It appears to be I.

 

A fallen myth

A forgotten trail

What befalls one befalls the other:

A brother, a pain, a stain

 

Be as one, not as the other, whose mother was insane

 

Instigate, investigate, uncover, discover

Who is behind the mask that will not last, undercover?

 

Forested hills

Misty chills

Steepened in places still

 

Rocky path, where’s the map?

To find one’s way still

 

I have come to grasp the hand I must now clasp

It is one closer than my eye

 

Embraced not defaced, upheld not denied

Beloved, though I tried, it is for me I died.

Leon Bahrman

January 1, 2012

 

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